Volume 3, No. 4
January 12, 2012

HELLO, MARCH!

by Leslie Knope


Spring is around the corner, and that can only mean one thing, Capri pants are back! Okay, confession, I just hope it means that one thing, so if it does, then spring means two things: 1) I get to wear all the Capri pants I spent way too much money on in 2006; and 2) THE PARKS ARE BACK! Yes! So exciting! The winter frost melts, and the colorful fungus in Ramsett Park emerges (Please note: anti-fungal treatment is scheduled for March 15th).

One little reminder for this upcoming parks season: just because we do not sell alcohol in the parks, that does not mean they are BYOB. They are, in fact, IINATBYOB (it is not allowed to bring your own booze). Just no alcohol in the parks, please.

Thank you for your continued appreciation of our parks. But, most of all, thank you for being a friend… (I’ve been watching A LOT of Golden Girls reruns, have you noticed that if you are up at 3:00 a.m. there’s almost nothing else to watch?)

Leslie Knope
Deputy Director, Parks and Recreation


PARKS UPDATE

by Tom Haverford

Pawnee’s parks are beautiful and you need to visit them more. Lots of things happening in the parks. And here are just a few words, picked at random, to describe them:

T ranquil
O rganic
M agical
H eavenly
E nvironmental
A nn is into Tom
R accoons
T om and Ann are totally dating
S weet sweet love (what Ann and Tom make every night)
A nn
N obody is more into Tom than Ann –
N obody.



PARKS DEPARTMENT EVENT CANCELATIONS

by Donna Meagle

The Parks Department would like to apologize for the events it has canceled on you in the past month. For example, just off the top of my head, there was an official Parks Department “meeting” that was supposed to occur last week between Parks employee Donna Meagle and a certain fireman named Marcus. However, it would also like to remind you that the Parks Department has a life, and you need to respect that. Just because the Parks Department broke a promise, doesn’t mean you can show up at the Parks Department’s door at 2:00 a.m. And for God’s sake, do not cry, it is not attractive; you are a grown man, Marcus.

 



THIS WEEK IN THE PARKS DEPARTMENT

by Professor Andy Dwyer

This week, I, Andrew Dwyer, passed my FIRST EVER college class! It is one of the best feelings in the world – up there with getting married and playing live in front of a million people at Madison Square Garden (I’m assuming… for now). I’m proud to say that I am now an expert in Women’s Studies, and I look forward to learning all about men and their history next. See you in class!



Leslie Knope for City Council

Leslie Knope for City Council

Leslie Knope for City Council

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